Saturday, July 30, 2005

I dreamt i slept with you last night. Literally of course. I've been missing that a lot, which would have explain this sudden catalytic trigger of thoughts.

I'm been living with regrets all my life, but right now i'm trying my best to remain back on track. Yet, more than often in life, fulfulling one's dreams might meant the compromisation of another person's.

The sinful indulgences  explored about P at 10:20 PM [comment]

{xoxo}

We are all humans.
We succumb to temptation,
and are equally fallable.
The day adam took the apple, was the day mankind fell into the abyss of temptations

I'm perturbed, thereby i blogged.

The sinful indulgences  explored about P at 2:33 PM [comment]

{xoxo}

Friday, July 22, 2005

She turned over in the cab today, half asleep, and with that smile of hers that never fails to melt my heart, asked what was on my mind. I told her i did not know where our relationship was progressing. That it was neither here, nor there, not that there ever had to be a reason for the sustanaince of a relationship. But it was at a standstill, and there were many outstanding issues left that were seriously impeding the entire relationship. I won't go into details right now of course, but i need to go what i should do right now. I ( think ) i'm in love with this girl whose like no other, and yet, i don't think we click. It's like what Caine said the other day " she doesn't suit you, but she's good for you ". The statement is somewhat ambiguous, but hey, i think Caine makes pretty decent sense ( sometimes ). Buutttt ultimately, the crux of the issue is the standpoint of my current relationship, and whether its worth bring it to a higher level.

The sinful indulgences  explored about P at 11:07 AM [comment]

{xoxo}

Thursday, July 21, 2005

I need a car real soon. But first, i need to get my car license. But second, i need $.

But what i really need right now, is a god-damm prozac.

The sinful indulgences  explored about P at 9:35 AM [comment]

{xoxo}

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Am i being overly - possessive? I think so. I should just fret less, grow lesser white hairs, worry much lesser, and just let go. Why bother.
Your responsiblity ( which is seriously lacking in me no doubt ), fucking irks me. You overdo it, every single damm time.
--
On a brighter note, i can't help but to adore my all-time american hero. No not Bill clinton of course. He's Mr Hulk Hogan.. the americannnn dreammm. I love that fella ever since i was a tod, transfixed on WWF everytime it was broadcast on SBC ( as it was known then ). He was the american love, the all-american-hero, and as gradual as i found out that i had armpit hair, he became the all-time-american-ahpek-hero. He's in deep need of lushing brown hair right now, extreme amount of botox, and better opponents of course. He's too invisible.
Today on WWE raw, the audience were treated to a three-tier generation of wrestlers - namely Hulk hogan, the representive of the 80's, Shawn - the heartbreak kid - michael, the representative of the 90's, and John Cena - the representative of today's youth, as they pitted against some loserish ( what else ! ) badass wrestlers ( who eventually lost of course ). It was amazing to be seeing the transcend of era, even for pro-fake-wrestling. And the amount of following, its fanatic.

The sinful indulgences  explored about P at 9:02 AM [comment]

{xoxo}

Friday, July 15, 2005

Are we too juvenile to believe in love at such a young age. We're in the MTV generation, to fuck and to fuck off. Being cynical sucks, but to quote one of the random blogs from friend's friend, " what are we to talk of love when we cannot even manage our lives ".
To love at 14 is puppish, like LoVingG PeOPlE ThiS. Love at 16 is so LOL. Its the pathway to learning how to suck cock and be sucked. Loving at 18 is, like turning 18. Rebellious, yet maturing.

I'm 19 this year. Leaning towards 21, still learning to grasp the meaning behind lust, and love.

Come on hold my hand,
I wanna contact the living.
Not sure I understand,
This role I’ve been given.

I sit and talk to god
And he just laughs at my plans,
My head speaks a language, I don’t understand.

(chorus)
I just wanna feel real love,
Feel the home that I live in.
’cause I got too much life,
Running through my veins, going to waste.

I don’t wanna die,
But I ain’t keen on living either.
Before I fall in love,
I’m preparing to leave her.
I scare myself to death,
That’s why I keep on running.
Before I’ve arrived, I can see myself coming.

The sinful indulgences  explored about P at 10:21 AM [comment]

{xoxo}

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

It doesn't pay to be nice apparently. Today, i tabaoed like 100 piece of fried cakes home ( or they'll be thrown away by the boss ), with the SINCERE intention of distributing it to the poor bangalas back home who feast on shit and curry all day long. My generous intention was met with extreme malice. The bangla ( who eventually took the cakes unwillingly ), was like WHAT DO YOU WANT?! Uh.. i wanted to pass you my leftover cakes Mister Bangala, cuz i am feeling generous today. CUNOT LA CUNOT LA CUNOT FINISH LATE ALREADY. Uh.. take it la.. its free anyway and its gonna go to the bins.. OK LA OK LA.
How fucking annoying.

And i won't meddle in your f* business anymore. Not so if you are so damm unappreciative.

The sinful indulgences  explored about P at 9:54 AM [comment]

{xoxo}

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Sunday night stinks. There's no place to venture, no life to seek, no tv programs. Even on cable. Paying that exhorbatant sum of money, to be exchanged with the soap-opera alikes on cable, is simply unjustifiable. So much for assuring my customers its "non stop hits". Mindless thoughts thereby surfaces, and they always do more harm than good.

I've thought of you again.How you were when i first met you, How you were during the tulmutious period, and how you are now. I think you have changed. Or somewhat another. Maybe your supervisor was right afterall. I have been the catalyst of change in you. My selfishness has caused you too much pain such that change was inevitable. Still, i tell myself the relationship's always worth the salvage, only because the very reasons of me disliking you, have been the very reasons which made me fall deeply in love with you.

So much for forever when we cannot get by the moments.

The sayin goes.. " this is life as we know it ". It certainly is.

The sinful indulgences  explored about P at 8:42 AM [comment]

{xoxo}

Monday, July 04, 2005

To six months and the next, thanks for everything, love.

The sinful indulgences  explored about P at 11:11 AM [comment]

{xoxo}

Sunday, July 03, 2005

Growing skinnier by the day stinks. I'm all skins and bones now, argh. I think the work has taken a toll on me.

--

We're learning to find out that we have too much differences. And indifference are causing these differences problems. Like i love to day dream and wonder, and you probably don't. I love the fleeting clouds, and sitting in a comfortable train/tram/bus ride to nowhere just viewing the nothings, whilst you'd probably settle for something more concrete. I'm made of dreams and moments.

--

Goodbye Luther Vandross.

The sinful indulgences  explored about P at 5:52 AM [comment]

{xoxo}

Saturday, July 02, 2005

Thought of the day from Murphy's law of Sex
: Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.

The sinful indulgences  explored about P at 7:31 AM [comment]

{xoxo}