Wednesday, June 29, 2005

It dawned upon me that i've been strangely missing my literature texts. I was musing upon the varies texts i was forced to scrutinised in my jc life, like the numerous sexual inneudos in The god of Small things ( note the emphasis! upon the capital letters ), to the intense juxtaposing of characters ( ie the other Self ) which we were forced to understand and conceptualise. I never did understood the interest in attempting to place an alter-hero ( the hero-villan ie dracula ) to a character as villanous as Count Dracula, or tell myself that Jonathan Harker was deep down in fact, a closet pervert ( the subverted self of a hero ) who was allured by the vuluptous temptresses ( yummy... ). Maybe its nostalgia setting in, maybe its just me. But if i had placed such undying interest for my literature texts, maybe things would have been different.

The sinful indulgences  explored about P at 9:50 AM [comment]

{xoxo}

Sunday, June 26, 2005

So the holiday period's almost gone,
I'm almost three steps away six feet under ( tekong ).
Haven't accompliced much.
Shall attempt to finish unfinished business.
And its tekong i shall beckon with open heart ( my ass ).

The sinful indulgences  explored about P at 9:41 AM [comment]

{xoxo}

Your Birthdate: March 2

Your birth on the 2nd day of the month adds a degree of emotion, sensitivity, and intuition to your life. The 2 is a very social number allowing you to make friends easily and quickly. Yet you are apt to have a rather nervous air in the company of a large group. You have a warmhearted nature and emotional understanding that constantly seeks affection. You are more prone than most to become depressed and moody, as emotions can turn inward and cause anxiety and mental turmoil. It can be hard for you to bounce back to reality when depression sets in.

The sinful indulgences  explored about P at 9:41 AM [comment]

{xoxo}

Saturday, June 25, 2005

Maybe its all but a dream.
We're drifting away... bit by bit.

The sinful indulgences  explored about P at 11:02 PM [comment]

{xoxo}

Thursday, June 23, 2005

I resent the ongoing politics, resent me being the sacrificial pawn ( or rather about-to-be ).

And i wanted to go Europa tonight. Cascada! Hahaa.. the few techno djs i listen to.

The sinful indulgences  explored about P at 9:02 AM [comment]

{xoxo}

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

I hate it when i'm pen one liners, yet i hate it as well when i pen stories. I like things as they are, not too warm, not too cold. I love scrapping through my results with c and ds ( A level was an expection of course ), and i'll love to just test the bare limits of life. My point being? I think my dad and mum had the initial intention to name me mediocre Tan. Mediocre Tan peng cheng. Yes, that sounded like a wonderful christian name, and my mum would have ( ultimately ) realised there wasn't such a queer christian name, and named me Tan peng cheng instead. How very depressing.

And i'm thinking of whether to quit my current job, to save hers. I never knew there were THAT FUCKING much fuckload of politics in sales.

The sinful indulgences  explored about P at 9:07 AM [comment]

{xoxo}

Sunday, June 19, 2005

I couldnt help but notice the disparity amongst the both of us today. And it was no wonder the taxidriver mistood us.

The sinful indulgences  explored about P at 10:09 AM [comment]

{xoxo}

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear
And I can't help but ask myself how much
I'll let the fear take the wheel and steer.
It's driven me before, and it seems to have a vague,
haunting mass appeal.
But lately I'm beginning to find that I
should be the one behind the wheel.

Whatever tomorrow brings,
I'll be there with open arms and open eyes, Yeah
Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there..I'll be there.

So, if I decide to waiver my chance to be one of the hive
Will I choose water over wine and hold my own and drive?
Aah-ah-oo-o-o.

It's driven me before and it seems to be the way
that everyone else gets around.
But lately I'm beginning to find that when
I drive myself my light is found.

Whatever tomorrow brings,
I'll be there with open arms and open eyes, Yeahhh
Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there...I'll be there.

Would you choose water over wine....hold the wheel and drive?

Whatever tomorrow brings,
I'll be there with open arms and open eyes, Yeah
Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there..I'll be there.

Find myself to comply with this song so much, its the few songs that you can reply over your stereo without getting sick of it.
And i felt delusional today. I was feeling blissful. Not happy, but sorta like blissful. Which is fucking rare for a person like me. I think the evening sun overdid the melancholic effect so much that i've got into a drunken state of mind.


The sinful indulgences  explored about P at 9:00 AM [comment]

{xoxo}

Monday, June 13, 2005

My life in MSH's becoming like the school days.

I meet up with da people ( i like ).
I see my daily work assignment ( homework ).
I stare into space.
I try not to fall asleep.
I look at the clock every alternate minute with the hope that the hour has passed.
I give up temporarily.
To the toilet i loiter, with the hope that more time will pass.
I leave @ 3.40, when my break's at 3.50.
I come back @ 4.30 when my break ends at 4.10.
Feeling motivationless and dejected, i stare at the ceiling.
I look at the clock again. And again.
And its 9.30pm.
I take a fucking long pee that last me 20 minutes. ( i'm kidding. )
I come back from the toilet again, making a fake last call ( to any number-not-in-use ).
I pack my bag @ 9.51.
9.55 beckons, and i run. Oh, not before shouting to the guys its time to go home.

I reach home 11 + 12, and i get retarded threats from retardedly vague people ( just like the school days ), who leave retardly blur messages like don't push your luck ( like wtf am i suppose to know what you don't want me to push ) from retardly vague people ( cheryl, hmm.. WHICH CHERYL HUH ). And i'm suppose to know all of these threats ( brrrrrrr...i'm frightened ) , when I DON"T FUCKING KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT.


I'm starting to suspect i'm schizo.

The sinful indulgences  explored about P at 8:42 AM [comment]

{xoxo}

Saturday, June 11, 2005

I somewhat don't understand my stance in life.
What's a little cig,
as compared to compromise of values.

The sinful indulgences  explored about P at 10:49 AM [comment]

{xoxo}

In my state of delirium ( i've caught the aweful fever bug ), i ask of the whats.
What are the extend of deceit.
What are the extent of your love.
What are the extent of your self-deceit to tell me you love.

Have you been deceiving yourself all along, and getting on to the ride only because you've been on the ride for too long already?

Five months ; and counting.

The sinful indulgences  explored about P at 10:08 AM [comment]

{xoxo}

Sunday, June 05, 2005

I'm still trying to find meaning behind all the one-liners
Waiting for your call.
Tell me you don't love me, or don't know how you ever did
I've been expecting.
Trying to find meaning in this tiring life
That i don't ever fathom ( not phantom peng cheng! )

Dissipate my ( oxymoronic ) feelings into nothingness.



The sinful indulgences  explored about P at 9:53 AM [comment]

{xoxo}

Friday, June 03, 2005

Dark side, Obi wan conspiciously was tredding, went he said I loved you, to his young apprentice, anakin. Very sinister indeed.

The sinful indulgences  explored about P at 9:47 AM [comment]

{xoxo}