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Monday, June 28, 2004 Still not used to sleeping at the normal time of 12. Tried very hard to sleep at 2 yesterday but couldnt at all fall to slumberland, and instead slept at 5. Thank god it was a late afternoon paper. And econ paper should be held ANYWHERE but the hall. IT"S FUCKING HOT! hello. Hot? Ok la i was kidding. It was SCORCHING! hello my whole body was drenched with sweat. That's not the worse part apparently, the worse being seated to a SMELLY pig. wahlau. How am i supposed to concentrate on the paper? The sinful indulgences explored about P at 4:25 AM [comment] {xoxo} Saturday, June 26, 2004 A must download- Ben jelen's Come on Come on And finally the silence, looking out, looking back across the sky, Trying to find a meaning, knowing that I just left it all behind Still I smell a lingering softness Where did she go, how did she go, I wanna know One more day to the mids, and all i can say right now is if there were a God, save me. The sinful indulgences explored about P at 10:21 AM [comment] {xoxo} Thursday, June 24, 2004 I don't believe in God normally, but if there were a divine being out there, i thank God for friends like these :) i am wong faaat may. says: cos yr funny cool layback easy going and genuine i am wong faaat may. says: like a big brother god gives me friends (= says: u got the biggest heart And there you go faaat may, you've been allocated a spot on my wonderful blog! :) The sinful indulgences explored about P at 10:07 AM [comment] {xoxo}
Name Acronym Generator From Go-Quiz.com The sinful indulgences explored about P at 8:14 AM [comment] {xoxo} Wednesday, June 23, 2004 Right now, i'm really tempted to type like this, taat um noot yin d bluee oof mooods becaz oof ma sooopid ulcer yin maaa mooth een ittsss relli piin full... you get the point. Nasty ulcer sprouting from the hot weather. Days are getting mundane, life is seriously on the brink of emotional suicide, love is getting nowhere, studies are best forgotten. ~~ Theeeeeeeeese is my lifeeeeeeeeee, it's not what it was befoooooore( ok la it was much worse ) Theeeeeeeeese are my dreaammmmmmmms , that i've never lived befoooooooooore. Noooooow that weee are ( emphasized purposely here on the word ARE as in WE ARE HERE!!!! ) hereeeeeee , SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FAR AWAYYYYYYYYYY!!!! Mummy daddy brother wakes up : DIAM LA!!! This is seriously my life right now, this is what boredom can do:kill. The sinful indulgences explored about P at 9:04 AM [comment] {xoxo} Tuesday, June 22, 2004 I can already forsee this scenerio ( re-enacting ) Ms xxxx: Peng cheng i want to see your parents Pengcheng's mind: FUCK. Peng cheng: Ok.... Two days later Ms xxxx: Hi Mr and Mrs tan, your son has not been performing up to standard again, and i am really very disappointed in the way your son has behaving in school --Interlude of shouting, screaming at peng cheng--- Peng cheng smiles sheepishly and turns to Ms xxxx and says:ok Ms xxxx i promise to study hard for my end of years exam and promise to pass up my hw ( more often ) and i will not let my parents down ( again ) . Damm. So my life's been revolving around sleeping, studying a quinessential bit, and lots of late night soccer of course. And frequent trips to the supermarket for facial and hair products which i'm honestly in dire need for. I must comment on the irritating Britney spears song "everytime". Its EVERYWHERE. Like tv mobile. In NTUC, at the foodfare, on the air, like a sick muthafucka trying to haunt you down. Now back to resuming my routined life. The sinful indulgences explored about P at 5:02 AM [comment] {xoxo} Monday, June 21, 2004 Here's a special dedication to my dearest brother SOH YONG SENG who turns 18 on the 2nd of July HAPPY BIRTHDAY and thanks for being the BESTEST and UNASSUMING bestfriend of my Jc life. Even though i know you NEVER read my blog, and that you've been an asshole. :D HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! :) The sinful indulgences explored about P at 10:55 AM [comment] {xoxo} Friday, June 18, 2004 See the world from a kaleidoscopic point of view, and you'll find peace and quietness from the noisy side of the world Surreality, from absuridity Feeling the feeling of fading feelings with feelings and when it all tumbles down upon you, seize the opportunity to rebuild your life, for you originated from nothingness anyway The sinful indulgences explored about P at 12:32 PM [comment] {xoxo} Thursday, June 17, 2004 Giving scant notice to rememberance, and to give notice to scant rememberance, has been one of my life's biggest sins. The sinful indulgences explored about P at 5:03 AM [comment] {xoxo} Wednesday, June 16, 2004 Spot on, on my entries being esoteric. Some things are meant to be divulge, some ain't. God lord, you've got me thinking how indepth your analysis skills actually are. And this one's for you M.A.D.E, and to the rest of my regulars. I've got to be honest I think you know I'm covered in lies and that's okay There's somewhere beyond this I know But I hope I can find the words to say Never again, no. The sinful indulgences explored about P at 8:51 PM [comment] {xoxo} The fragility of life is so astonishing.One moment you're here, the next, you'll be gone. I just attended the funeral of my ex-neighbour, his family of which had been my nanny when i was a lot younger. So much have since past and the uncle who used to take care of me, passed away. My dad remarked that life's just like a drama, its full of its up's and downs. The sinful indulgences explored about P at 9:25 AM [comment] {xoxo} Tuesday, June 15, 2004 I really pray i'm not heading towards self-destruction. I'm been trying my best to mug really hard this couple of days, but it just doesn't go in. The sinful indulgences explored about P at 11:15 PM [comment] {xoxo} Monday, June 14, 2004 Reasons why i'm happy today 1) She msged me :) happy dumb dumb 2) I GOT EURO 2004!!! :) For all you deprieved people like me without scv.. click on this website during match time http://www.entv.dz/online/index.php and watch it for FREE!!!!!!!!! yippeeee... i shall try to somehow incoporate the website into my webbie and all you vistors shall be able to watch it right here! :) The sinful indulgences explored about P at 10:12 AM [comment] {xoxo} Sunday, June 13, 2004 As we die, both you and I With my head in my hands I sit and cry and It's all ending I gotta stop pretending who we are Don't tell me because it hurts. The sinful indulgences explored about P at 7:37 AM [comment] {xoxo} Saturday, June 12, 2004 3.30 am in the morning, making self-reflection notes. I'm sorry to my brothers for my fucked-up temper specially to Eugene that i've been losing my cool lately, i need to honestly start studying, i need to keep my cool, i need to built up on my confidence. I want to say sorry to you for making you keep a promise, which me myself i can't keep i'm sorry i fuckin absolutely am, so go and blame me as much as you can, and stop listening to this fool. For promises are meant to be broken in the end. And i'm just a hypocrite, i know. Edited Sunday 2pm after a long nap. I'm sorry for saying i'm sorry, i'm sorry for fucking giving a shitcare for everyone around me, i'm fucking sorry for being nice already, and i'm seriously fucking sorry for caring about you when all i get this this fucking shit in the end. Three day grace-I Hate everything about you. The sinful indulgences explored about P at 12:47 PM [comment] {xoxo} Friday, June 11, 2004 If this was written out of a drunken stupor, properly more than half of it would be true. I'm dizzy. From all of that drinking, such that i want to tell you right now i hate you. Hate you for not caring hate you for not being there hate you for not giving a shit to everything i do. Fuck you for appearing in my life. So much that i overshot my bus ride home and the bus uncle had to wake me up from my sorrow. and i nearly wanted to puke. but i hate puking. I ABSOLUTELY FUCKING HATE PUKING. but at least i'm semi sane when i'm overdosed. The sinful indulgences explored about P at 1:53 PM [comment] {xoxo} Thursday, June 10, 2004 Two suicide cases reported within the spates of a couple of hours. One the block next to mine, the other a couple of blocks away. Not that it struck me hard, but its the fragility of life that is truly remarkable. My ribs hurt. Must be from yesterday's rugby training. Which darn bastard stepped on me this time around?! Feel like strangling his neck. And i'm beginning to be tan. yaaaaay. peng the tan boy no longer peng the pale boy. The sinful indulgences explored about P at 7:42 AM [comment] {xoxo} Tuesday, June 08, 2004 It's how i often fall prey into the recollection of past events, or the picture of sad cheena hongkong love movies, whenever my kazaa/ or my mind/ decides to play a typically sad cantonese love track. Like those drama-mama kind when the lead actor and actress meet after kadzillion years the rain would just inexplicably fall even though weather report has it that its gonna shine. I'm into Jacky cheung's " i'm waiting till the flower has wilted " right now. Snippets of it " Ni zhi bu zhi dao Ni zhi bu zhi dao Wo den dao hua er ye xie liao." I've been waiting for you, till the flowers have wilted. How tragic. The sinful indulgences explored about P at 9:58 AM [comment] {xoxo} I wonder where you are I wonder what you're thinking of tonight I wonder Maybe you're alone Maybe you've been crying just like me I wonder I don't know why I lost your touch Usually, pop and techno lyrics makes the least sense, but they convey my emotions best right now. Chinablack was cut short yesterday again, and i somehow became the official shoe care-taker for xiayan, for she decide to happily take off her shoes and danced right thurrrr!! hahaha. Revalations. And honestly, not that i minded, was tired from training and spend a short while waltzing around the bevy of girls xiayan brought along. Snapped a lot of roadside pictures (shall post them once xy passes them to me) went newton to makan , and went back to orchard towers to gaze at the.. erm.. IT. Ya. Like the fucking ITS that i hate in sch as well (refer to my previous post). Not to say i'm handsome but its fucking disgusting to have yourself being ogled, by FORMER MEN with DICKS. ARGHHHHHH. I fucking swear i fucking screamed in 7-11 when one IT brushed against me. ^$#%#%#$%#$. My hair stood, at that moment. And now here i am, smelly stinky with a horrible breath, looking absolutely horrible. Baby, if you are reading this right now, i really wish you were here with me again. The sinful indulgences explored about P at 1:17 AM [comment] {xoxo} Monday, June 07, 2004 Someone just gave me a very fucking reason to vilify those nether species that i've ALWAYS hated. It's simply fucking disturbing, and no this not the way to get matters by. FUCK YOU. You hear me? FUCK YOU! FUCKING WHORE! On a lighter note, training today was rather productive, though i must simply apologise to my captain for screaming at him. Sorry Eugene, hadn't been doing ok this days and you know why yourself yeah, so sorrry bro. The physical was good and demanding, and i even had a few blisters outta my hands. We had a chatting session in which we discussed our flaws, and in my mind, though this team might be physically less fit than the previous batches, they have the bond and the mental ability to succeed. Really. I've heard loads, heard shit. Said loads, said shit. And now i wish you would just reply. It's off to chinablack now for a good solid night of guiltless partying. Really. I'd swop anytime anywhere just for you. yeah. The sinful indulgences explored about P at 5:40 AM [comment] {xoxo} Sunday, June 06, 2004 Sunday was bitter sweet. Met up with her for a while only, and even though communication was minimum, i was thankful enough for the meeting. Late night was spend being nice ( as i always am x) ) to this particular drug addict who looks like a drug addict. hahahaha. hello drug addict! You really look like a drug addict la hahaha. And oh ya.. i happen to misplace your kitchen knife so if you notice any knife gone awol dont blame me!! hahahaa. Techno crazed has ceased gradually due to the fact that i did not manage to find any nice sounding ones anymore. Its 123am in the morning and no body is talking to me right now, cept for the luther vandross tunes in the background. :( where is everybody? The sinful indulgences explored about P at 10:29 AM [comment] {xoxo} Friday, June 04, 2004 I love this particular friend's msn nick "Its was one of those nights when you turn off the lights and everything comes into view." The sinful indulgences explored about P at 9:21 PM [comment] {xoxo} Somehow always, the fragility of life often takes over. We're broken by the animousity, torn apart by this hostility that's chosen to present itself. I have so much to tell you right now. So much. I wish to slap you and tear your hair and scream the words i hate you right now. Its the monster in me that demands an answer to every matter in life, to why all this ended so early, so easily. But i won't. Because you don't deserve shit. I would never hate someone as special as you. Gradually, this delusion that everything shall be alright/forgetten only continues to affirm itself as a delusion, for its you i think about when the night ascends/when the wind blows cold. I want to be close to you once more, firmly holding that precious hand against mine, not letting go ever. I wish time could just rewind itself and we could be pouring out our shits to each other. I wish you were here with me again. But i can't. For it just pains me even more at the mere thought of you. I can continue to play this game of bluff with myself to only just. When ultimately, the heart's the deciding verdict. The sinful indulgences explored about P at 8:35 PM [comment] {xoxo} Thursday, June 03, 2004 Dear oh dear, i'm really becoming into an ahbeng.. The insatible need for TECHNO songs have returned!! ahhhhh TUI TUI TUI AW AH AW OH OH OH WE NEED TECHNO GO GO GO SINGING ALL THE TECHNOOOOOOOOOO die. Somebody, send me more techno songs please. oops. DIE. The sinful indulgences explored about P at 8:54 AM [comment] {xoxo} Wednesday, June 02, 2004 Its past midnight, i'm still up inevitably cuz i can't get to sleep due to post-modem blues. Its been getting a lot better thank you very much though the pain of losing some(one) so dear always hurt. I intend to make this post a long and unmeaningful one so don't read on if you do not have the time. I've often pondered along the paths of my life, that if i am indeed worthy of this shell i'm currently residing in. Tragically, i realised many others befit this current identity instead of myself. I should be one of the many ethopians, starving for food, or the many africans out there, dying of aids. I'm a wastrel no less, succumbing to the temptations in lives, not finding the true meaning to my life, and that basically, i'm losing myself to the great nothingness. And then from there i gathered, i ought to find a purpose. (ohh. sounding important there.) A purpose in life, a purpose in daily matter, and basically matters that ought to gave St-peter a reason not to reject me. Well, no siree. There drop by Satan to lure me to the beastly desires on mutha nature. Yes siree. To think good o peng could be tempted by the nasty devil. Tsk tsk. And from there on an expected landslide of events, my life plagued by unescapable events. One after another. The sinful indulgences explored about P at 9:41 AM [comment] {xoxo} I want so bad to just tear right now. Quote:" Maybe one day i'll learn to forget you, maybe not right now." The sinful indulgences explored about P at 3:24 AM [comment] {xoxo} Tuesday, June 01, 2004 Day three ended off on a rather nice note. Memories of the past campfires and gangshows returned, when i went back to ac(i)'s annual gangshow. The past times where the group of notorious acs(i) scouts troup stomping down the grounds of the schools we "visited" always not forgetting that we'll eventually leave a pile of mess behind. Sweet. Me and hianyang were talking about the most memorable campfire ( namely MY most memorable) :) we shouted ourselves hoarse, and of course, who could forget the part were i was supposed to be the one collecting the sovenir, but was conviently carried by ten other scouts up to stage, amidst with, i screamed incoherent hokkien phrases. Those were certainly the days. The sinful indulgences explored about P at 9:21 AM [comment] {xoxo} This shall be a narrative blog. I didnt sleep much after last night's swell party, assumably. Who gets any sleep when such revelations occurs? And thus it was off the pools for the swim to rid my mind of any (other) distractions. But no, the hangover just decide to reel itself in as i started feeling woozy and faintly. Time did not permit the swim anyway, as i departed for school for the project work lecture. For goodness sake, teachers, just shut the fuck up la. Stop ordering us around like little kids so you can nicely put it that you want us to behave like adults. And yes, now you know roughly how the project work lecture have been. I've been feeling horrid. Really really fucking depressed. The sinful indulgences explored about P at 1:01 AM [comment] {xoxo} |
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